When I Didn't Love You: You Will Leave & I Won't Cry
by iffulovedme
Summary: AU. Last part of 'When I Didn't Love You'. Itachi/Naruto. Sasuke has amnesia. Itachi, Naruto, and Kakashi must play along even though nothing is how it used to be. Mentions of Uchihacest. Preceded by "First Time", "Untangling Love", "Two Steps Forward, One Step Back", "Stay With Me & I'll be Okay", "I Love You & It's Not Enough".
1. 01 Stress

When Itachi and Kakashi arrived at the hospital, made it passed the annoyingly flirtatious nurses, and up the agonizingly slow elevator to Sasuke's room it was almost 8 pm. The cab ride had been a silent event, neither of them feeling all that talkative. Kakashi had spent the ride shooting cursory glances at Itachi, fearing the rigid Uchiha would break down at any moment. Not that public life crises were Itachi's style, not at all. Kakashi looked for signs that Itachi was close to cracking, but Itachi's skin color was no paler than usual and his eyes were blank slates. Typical Itachi then. At the front desk Itachi had been a bit more curt than usual and Kakashi had had to smile apologetically at his brisk manner. On the other hand, the nurses were so dazed by Itachi's flawless skin and sheer perfection that Kakashi would bet anything they didn't notice. In fact, the brusque way in which Itachi acted was part of his charm. It was kind of a nice change of pace from Itachi's courteous arrogance with which he treated almost everyone. Sasuke was not always one of these exceptions despite what others might think. Kakashi's musings were based on years of observation and analysis of the Uchiha brothers' interactions and he _still_ wasn't sure he had it right. He had concluded that Itachi cared for his brother and so had let Naruto go. He knew that when they were younger Itachi had had strange, incestuous dreams about his younger brother. He didn't know if anything had ever come of that. Itachi didn't love his brother in that way anymore, at least not to Kakashi's knowledge, but he trusted him. He trusted him a lot, enough to take care of Naruto, the one person Itachi truly loved. Kakashi's certainty that Itachi's relationship with Sasuke was platonic wavered as he watched Itachi's eyes outside Sasuke's hospital room. So much raw emotion that Kakashi felt like he'd seen something he wasn't supposed to. Then it was gone.

Itachi opened the door but it was Kakashi who and pushed back the curtain and saw Sasuke bandaged and sleeping. Naruto was sitting on the edge of Sasuke's bed. Itachi examined Naruto's face and decided it looked rather pale. Naruto was holding Sasuke's hand and muttering to himself. Sasuke's eyes were closed and there were bruises discoloring his china skin.

Naruto's head jerked up at the intrusion, looking a bit dazed.

"How is he?" Itachi asked, crossing the room to stare at his brother. Kakashi slipped quietly out of the room. Itachi watched as Naruto used his finger tips to gently rush sweaty black strands off Sasuke's forehead.

"The doctor says he'll be okay."

"Hn."

"He will be okay, Itachi," Naruto said. He looked Itachi straight in the eye, his own alight with confidence and desperation.

It was wrong but at that moment Naruto couldn't help but lose himself in those coal eyes. He'd missed them; missed Itachi and he couldn't lie to himself anymore. _Just thinking about you, thinking about us, was there even an us? _He didn't know. It tore him up. Why couldn't Itachi just be his? Forever and ever. Was that really so much to ask? Evidently it was. Naruto sighed inwardly.

"Has he said anything yet?" a new voice asked, low pitched but definitely female.

Itachi and Naruto turned and Kakashi was standing with a pretty young doctor.

The doctor came in, a thirty something woman with kind eyes and a stern mouth. She held out her hand and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Sasuke's doctor, Dr. Finn. You must be Itachi; we talked on the phone."

Itachi shook her hand. smiled blandly at the doctor. "Yes. So what is exactly wrong with my troublesome younger brother?"

Dr. Finn blinked, clearly surprised at Itachi's attitude. She recovered quickly. "He's in a coma; we don't think it'll take more than a few days but of course it's impossible to know."

Kakashi stepped forward and he touched Itachi's shoulder. "Of course," Kakashi said smoothly.

Itachi smiled blandly at the doctor. "Thank you for taking care of my brother."

Dr. Finn nodded her acknowledgement. "It might help if you talk to him."

Itachi nodded back. "Okay."

"In most cases when the patient wakes up and has temporary amnesia," the doctor continued. "Depending on the extent of the damage, the time forgotten varies."

"How much time are we talking? A few days, years?" Kakashi asked for all of them. Itachi was playing the mute and Naruto seemed to have forgotten how to use his mouth.

"It is most likely that Sasuke will have forgotten a few months." The doctor said this as if it should be good news. She couldn't know that very nearly _everything _had happened during that time.

"What should we do?" Itachi asked, his voice notably unstrained.

"Humor him," Dr. Finn advised in a kind voice. "Do not talk of the present, or as it were, the future. He will be kept here until he remembers everything."

"How long will that take?" Itachi asked in a bored tone.

"It depends on the patient. Hopefully a couple weeks, but it could take longer." Dr. Finn's pocket beeped. "I'm sorry, I have to check on another patient. If you have anymore questions, don't hesitate to call."

Kakashi and Itachi looked at one another, conveying what had to be done. Then Kakashi spoke aloud, "Naruto, Itachi and I are going for a walk. Will you be all right here?"

Naruto's throat picked that moment to stop working and he gazed wordlessly at his best friend. He blinked and seemed to come back to himself. "Yes," Naruto said faintly. "Okay, yes, I'll stay with Sasuke."

"Do you want anything from the outside world?" Kakashi asked, forcing the levity.

"No," Naruto replied. He heard the door close as the other two left. He turned his face back towards Sasuke. He lay down on his side, his head pressed awkwardly against Sasuke's neck. He closed his eyes and whispered over and over, "It's all my fault. I'm sorry, Sasuke. So, so sorry. It's all my fault."


	2. Authoress's Note

I've decided to incorporate my other AU Naruto fics. So to fully understand this story, you will have to "First Time", "Untangling Love", and "One Step Forward, Two Steps Back". I will go over some of it in the next chapter. Also, this story will reference Uchihacest. Of course, the main pairing will still be Itachi/Naruto. If you do not like ItaSasu, I'm sorry then you should not read the aforementioned stories. There is also mature content in those stories.

I'm writing the second chapter and it should be up around if not before Halloween. I'm curious- would people like to read the short chapters or the longer ones, even though the long ones will take longer to produce?


	3. 02 Square One

"This changes nothing, I'm still breaking up with you," Kakashi announced as soon as they were outside the hospital.

"Hn." Itachi and Kakashi started towards Central Park. Night had fallen by that time and the street lights were on. Neither Itachi nor Kakashi were particularly concered about their safty as both were seasoned fighters, well trained in jujitsu, tae kwan do, and capoeira.

They meandered along before stopping at a swing set. Kakashi wordlessly poked a piece of paper into Itachi's hand, the letter he'd been writing before Sasuke's accident. Had that really only be just a few hours ago? Musing, Kakashi sat on a swing and started pumping his legs.

Itachi read the note before crumbling it up.

_I won't be around for a while so don't contact me._

_No longer yours, _

_Kakashi _

"I just wanted to let you know that this doesn't change anything," Kakashi said again, his tone casual. Itachi watched him quietly, tracking the trajectory of Kakashi's movement.

"Kashi, I'm not refusing to break up." Itachi's lip curled of its own accord. "Well, I suppose I am in a way. It's best, don't you think, that until we know how much Sasuke remembers, we should just play it by ear. I mean, you have to be ready to play the role of my boyfriend. Just pretend you love me, okay? For Sasuke's sake, if not mine."

Kakashi slowed down by dragging his feet. He came to a complete stop and looked up into Itachi's unreadable expression.

"I know, I just wanted to let you know how I felt. I thought at least one of us should be honest."

Itachi sat in the swing next to him, his legs propelling him forward and back in a leisurely manner.

"Pretend we're just friends again. You can at least do that much, right?"

"That's just it, 'tachi, we've never just been friends. We don't know how to be..." Kakashi broke off, clearly struggling to find the right words.

"It feels like we're going around in circles, I know. Still, let me say it one more time. You're meant to be with Naruto. I know it seems like he's with Sasuke now because of the accident and all, and who knows, maybe they'll work out, but I can't do this. I can't be second to Naruto, or to anyone. Weird, right? I've done it this whole time. To Sasuke, Deidara, Madara-" he noticed Itachi's look of surprise and said, "Yes, I knew about Madara. Obito and he would talk about you. Then Obito would tell me, warned me that you weren't being faithful. It didn't matter so much because I knew that in the end you'd come back to me. And then Naruto came into the picture. Well, I suppose he was always there, but I didn't notice him right off. That was probably a mistake. But you see, I was competing with Sasuke for you."

Here Kakashi took a deep breath. Then he continued in an awe-filled voice, "The bond between you brothers is not normal by any means. There is so much fire and tension it was bound to manifest itself in abnormal ways. The sexual tension was incredible. Sasuke's admiration of you was limitless and your fierce protection...it was frightening, sometimes. It never went away, though. It just transferred. Both of you Uchihas love so deeply, so hungrily. Which is why I don't think I can pretend, Tachi, to be yours. It would hurt too much." _Not when that's all I've ever wanted. _


	4. 03 Turnabout

Naruto pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. He heard a slight groan and shot a glance at his best friend. He recalled the doctor saying something about talking to the patient. _Okay, here goes nothing._

"Remember when we were just kids in high school? Things were simpler then." Naruto chuckled to himself. "No, I don't suppose that's true. I liked you, Sasuke, a lot. I thought we were going to be together until our hair turned gray and our reflexes dulled."

Naruto closed his eyes. "Itachi was my first, sexually speaking. But I..I loved you first. Remember that time we all had sex together? I couldn't walk right for a week. And it was your first time with a guy. Itachi was patient and tender."

Naruto blinked his eyes open again. "He worries about you. I know you guys don't get along, and I'm sorry because I'm sure that's in part because of me."

He couldn't continue. He dropped his head into his hands, still muttering apologies when he heard a wry voice say, "Shut up, Dobe."

Naruto gave a little yelp and flung his arms around Sasuke's neck, to which Sasuke grunted in discomfort. Naruto leaned back immediately but his eyes never strayed from Sasuke's pale face.

"You remember me?" Naruto asked.

"Of course I do. You're my best friend."

"What else do you remember?"

Sasuke touched a hand to his forehead, crinkling his brow. "Last thing I remember is you going on about how much you were in love with my perfect brother. Speaking of which, where is my brother anyway?"

"He and Kakashi stepped out for a bit."

Sasuke looked hesitant. Then he shrugged. "I remember liking you and that's it. Sorry, that was a lame confession. But I wasn't sure if I'd told you or not."

"Sasuke.."

"Don't, whatever. It's okay. How long have I been out?"

"Not too long," Naruto assured him, turning the information over in his head.

"Oh good, because I would hate to miss your art gallery." Sasuke smiled at Naruto.

Naruto forced himself to smile back. _Fuck_.

#

Meanwhile, Kakashi had one arm looped comfortably through Itachi's. They ambled slowly towards the hospital.

"Do you think it's twisted that I desired my own flesh and blood?"

"This is far too convoluted. It's not a matter of right or wrong. It doesn't matter if I approve." Kakashi shook his head. "No, I'm saying this wrong. Sorry. Let me try again. There was so much left unsaid." Kakashi exhaled deeply and the carbon dioxide fogged up the air in front of him. "The death of your parents, you can compartmentalize and shut your brain off if you so choose. Sasuke couldn't – can't- do the same and the two of you never talked." Kakashi could feel Itachi's impatience. "I know you know of all this."

"Then why say it if we both know?" Itachi sighed back.

"You love Sasuke, you want to apologize for your absence, for your coldness. You're not an easy person to be around."

"Are you quite done insulting me?"

Kakashi ignored him. "You love Sasuke, but giving him Naruto won't fix anything."

"So?" Itachi dug with his free hand into his coat pocket, fishing out his cell phone. "Text from Naruto."

"So let's end this charade."

Itachi wore a pained expression. "I'd like nothing more. Only, Sasuke has woken up and believes Naruto and I are together."


	5. 04 Resolve & Disolve

Itachi texted Naruto back while Kakashi peered over his shoulder. _Where are you now? With Sasuke?_

Naruto replied quickly. _No, the doctor came in and said Sasuke needed to rest. I'm leaving the hospital now._

Itachi calculated all that had to be done. First things first. He had to find out exactly how much Sasuke remembered. He glanced at Kakashi, who was bouncing on his feet.

Kakashi looked back at him. "I want no part of this. I won't do anything to jeopardize whatever crazy scheme you're plotting as long as it doesn't involve me." He paused as if he wanted to say something else but then shrugged and turned to walk away.

Itachi stared at Kakashi's retreating back before dialing Naruto, who picked up immediately.

"Itachi," Naruto's voice was tired. "Can we...Let's just go back to the apartment. I expect Sasuke will want a change of clothes."

"I'm heading there now." Itachi hung up.

They reached the apartment at the same time. They were silent in the elevator ride. Under some tacit agreement they talked in the kitchen; neutral territory.

Naruto looked down at his hands. "Sasuke remembers the basics, who people are. He thinks you and I are together and confessed that he also had feelings for me. He seems to have forgotten that we dated and so didn't seem too upset that we broke up."

Naruto started to pace across the tile floor. His heart was thumping at the thought of pretending to be Itachi's boyfriend. Of getting a second chance. Was he insane for thinking this? Maybe.

"The doctor said we should indulge Sasuke's version of reality. But I won't lie to him, Itachi." Naruto's blue eyes were solemn. "He doesn't deserve that. Hell, I don't even think I can lie to him. He knows me too well."

"I know." Itachi nodded and paused.

Naruto's face scrunched and repeated, "He thinks we're still together." He hoped the pain he felt wasn't evident.

Itachi raised an eyebrow but said smoothly, "Then explain. You and I dated after you and Sasuke broke up. Then we broke up and you and Sasuke got together. Anyway, It's not a lie. We're omitting part of the truth." Itachi smirked slightly.

Naruto swallowed. Then again, he thought, what is the truth? He voiced his thoughts aloud.

"That you're still in love with me." Itachi let the words linger in the air.

The blasé tone drove Naruto crazy.

"Yeah, so what? What about what I want?" he exploded. He leveled Itachi with a glare worthy of an Uchiha. But he couldn't maintain it for long. He covered Itachi's hand with his own, expecting Itachi to pull away but he didn't.

Itachi murmured, "And what is it you want, Nar-u-to?"

He wanted to ask Itachi, who seemed to have an answer for everything except to the questions that still plagued him. What about us? What happened to us? I'm still mad at you. I thought you'd fight for me. Unless...unless you didn't really love me.

Sighing, Naruto let go of Itachi's hand and dodged the question. "Did it ever occur to you that...This is a chance, a second chance, for us to be together."

When Itachi didn't respond, Naruto said in a quieter tone, "Sasuke's memory will come back eventually. We should fill him in slowly on what's happened."

Itachi nodded. "All right." He stretched lazily. "We'll see him tomorrow, then." He passed Naruto on the way to the living room. "Want to watch a movie?"

"Uh, sure." Naruto plopped down on the couch.

And so began a strange truce, an alliance. There were words that still needed to be said. But for tonight, that could wait. They fell asleep on the couch together but not before each wished that morning would not come.


End file.
